Being the Target of Flirting can Alter Perceptions of Romantic Partners
Flirting with strangers can have negative consequences for committed relationships.
A new study published by Birnbaum (2022) suggests that being the target of flirting by attractive strangers can adversely affect committed relationships. The study, conducted online, found that when participants in committed relationships engaged in a flirty conversation with an attractive stranger, they judged their partner more negatively and less attractive than participants who engaged in a neutral conversation.
Furthermore, the study found that participants who were the target of flirting were more likely to fantasize about someone other than their partner and reported less attraction to their romantic partner compared to the neutral condition.
These findings suggest that simply being the target of another person’s flirting has the potential to introduce vulnerabilities into a committed relationship. Birnbaum’s (2022) study sets the stage for more inquiry into how infidelity occurs and the limits of committed partners’ automatic inattention to attracting others. It is important to note that this laboratory study documented its effects using only a one-time flirtation that occurred via computer.
It is unclear whether the same results would be found in real-life, in-person interactions. Additionally, it is essential to note that perceptions of attraction or negative views of a partner do not necessarily translate to relationship-threatening behaviors. More research is necessary to understand when and how others’ flirting might undermine commitment.
It is important to note that for most committed partners, casual interactions with attractive strangers pose little threat to their relationship stability. This is partly because commitment includes a suite of unconscious behaviors designed to keep them oriented toward their partners.
For example, when primed with thoughts about mating, research showed that single individuals let their attention linger on photographs of attractive potential partners. In contrast, people in relationships shifted their attention away faster (Maner et al., 2009). In other words, committed partners actively (if unconsciously) worked to ignore an attractive person who could threaten their relationship.
In conclusion, the study by Birnbaum (2022) suggests that being the target of flirting by attractive strangers can adversely affect committed relationships. However, more research is necessary to understand this phenomenon’s full extent and determine when and how others’ flirting might undermine commitment.
It is important to note that perceptions of attraction or negative views of a partner do not necessarily translate to relationship-threatening behaviors. Nevertheless, committed partners should be aware of this potential vulnerability in their relationships and work to maintain a solid commitment to their partner to navigate these social interactions.
