Offline Dating in an Online World

Edy Zoo
3 min readSep 16, 2022
Photo by Tamara Schipchinskaya on Unsplash

After the high-pitched fever of online dating had waned, we realized: what a bunch of bullshit. Yet, it was too late. We were knee-deep in it. There was no way of retracing our steps to a time before dial-up and Yahoo! chat rooms. And so, we kept burrowing down the rabbit hole until things had to change.

Thanks to the preservative-free crowd and the organically-grown people (not that there’s anything wrong with that), we have gathered the collective strength to bring online dating to the table and unleash a barrage of accusations. I’ll admit that most are valid and warranted. In short, online dating is guilty of allowing people (primarily men, according to stats) to become full-fledged bullies. And to give free rein to their misogynistic behaviors.

This, of course, has raised awareness concerning the topic. And it has led many women and innocent men to abandon the world of online dating and attempt the tried and true way of meeting a partner. And while this is truly liberating and praiseworthy, it has set in motion a cataclysmic shift. No longer are those relationship bullies bound to online dating apps; they are now at your nearest bar or local library. Of course, they were there before, except I would argue that they weren’t as strong in number or as vocal. Now they’re in your face.

Let me put my cards on the table: I’m a serial dater. I’m not proud about it, but I’m relatively young; I’ve lived a married life and am now divorced; I’m playing the field. Well, let me tell you… my oh my, how things have changed. That woman who was psycho on the apps is no longer sitting behind a computer. She’s a real person now. And that guy who stood tall on his misogynistic soap box now sits next to you on the train spewing hateful speech. He’s trying to mimic his latest love doctor… Mr. Misogyny himself.

They’re here, in the flesh, dressed as romantic Karens, ready to kill your vibe in person and in living color. And that sucks. Before we could block them or kill the computer and walk off. Nowadays, we must endure them at our favorite spots or find different places to hang out and meet people.

Mind you, offline dating is nerve-racking without their influence. You have to approach a total stranger and introduce yourself, hoping to be liked within the first 30 seconds. It’s not easy. Imagine going through the fear of rejection, which ranks high on the list of fears, to find out that you’ve met innocently in person, a human who mocks the sanctity of offline dating. It’s maddening. It’s no wonder why Americans are staying single. It’s hard to spot the troll. And it’s only making the dating scene shittier than it is.

--

--

Edy Zoo

Edy Zoo is an author who writes about social subjects. He contributes to the ever-growing library of social critics.