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Relationship Etiquette

When Should You Disclose Parental Status to a Potential Partner?

Edy Zoo
3 min readMay 12, 2023
Photo by Jeremiah Lawrence on Unsplash

In modern dating, communication forms the bedrock on which relationships are built. However, the question persists — when is the right time to disclose that you have children from previous relationships? Is it the first date? The third? Or, should it be tucked away in a dating profile for those astute enough to read between the lines?

Consider the scenario of Jennifer, an accomplished woman in her mid-thirties. During her second date with a seemingly perfect man named Tom, she discovered he had an 8-year-old son from a previous relationship. She felt blindsided; her trust in Tom shattered. But was she justified in feeling deceived? Let’s dissect this situation.

To many, children aren’t just a footnote in a life story. They’re a significant chapter that shapes who a person is. So it’s understandable why Jennifer felt betrayed. She was picturing a man without strings attached, ready to invest all his time and energy into building a new relationship. But here he was, a father with important responsibilities.

On the other hand, there’s Tom. Perhaps he was fearful that the information might be a deal-breaker, or maybe he felt it was too personal to discuss on the first date. Is it fair to label him as deceitful?

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Edy Zoo
Edy Zoo

Written by Edy Zoo

Edy Zoo is a social critic, theologian, and philosopher who writes about social subjects.

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